On September 30,2014 there was a practice game with the BLUES VS HURRICANES. I was sitting up in the club seats and our numbers were 106,BB,11-14. We got 4 tickets and it was my Mom, my Dad, my Uncle Mike , and me. Before we went to our seats we went to the Bud Light Zone. In the Bud Light Zone there is just a lot of food for the people that has bracelets. We brought our food back to our seat and waited for the game to begin.In the beginning of the first period the Hurricanes get a penalty on holding and later after the penalty the Blues score on a ricochet and make the score 1-0.
In the second period the Hurricanes get another penalty against and two of their players are put into the penalty box. On the ice there is three players for Hurricane and all five players for the Blues. A little bit later in the penalties the Blues score a goal on a slap shot to make the score 2-0 and for the Hurricanes their penalties go away and then they score off the face off. In the third the Blues score a goal but i did not get to see it because we left early so my Uncle Mike can get to his job and there it is my side of the story of the blues game and
THE END.
I like it but you could add a little more detail .
ReplyDeleteAwesome, but add some more detail next time
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ReplyDeleteNice work...sounds exciting. Watch your verbs....you are switching tenses. Sometimes you are using past tense (We brought our food back), and sometimes you are using present tense. (The Blues score a goal.) I have to revise this in my own writing fairly often bc I switch tenses when I write my first draft.
ReplyDeleteVery good but make sure you don't put i because your the news person telling it because that's what Ms.Crain said to every one but still you did a great job
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